Last night I ended up staying awake until 1am working on a post for today that popped into my head at the last minute and I couldn’t shake. I was so excited to post it and encourage a discussion and try to provide some support for people dealing with issues similar to mine (self-hate, depression, anxiety, and other candy shop top-shelfers 😉 ). It had been a very stressful day and pretty crappy overall until I had a little thought bubble that became an over 900 word post. I had been so excited & nervous to share it but it was going up today, whether I was ready for it or not. Then, just as I was about to have the dude read over it, it was eaten by the blog post monster that is WordPress at times.
It would be putting it nicely to say that I was wee bit upset.
Thinking about all of the time, energy, and heart I put into that post felt quite similar to investing those same things into a friend and then not staying friends/they ate your homework. It’s rare for me to be very open about many of the things I’ve gone through so for the crazy amount of heart-spilling I did in that post to disappear it really hurt.
This lead me down all sorts of rabbit holes about how much I suck, I should have written in Google Docs, I should have taken that train 5 years ago, wow gee whiz nice HAIR STYLE STUPID. I’m incredibly pleasant to myself when something goes wrong which was part of the point of that huge post. Ironically, there was one TedTalk I had included in that post from Lakshmi Pratury about letting go and moving forward that really seems to hit home today (along with this talk about negative thinking but we’ll save that for another day).
After my freak out last night, and a continuation this morning, I realized that it was probably a little silly of me to get so worked up about this. Yes, creativity is a terribly hard thing to reign in, especially when you’re coming up with new topics at least twice a week…or anytime really. Yes, it was a LOT of work and a LOAD of heart, but it’s not like I can’t recreate it. Maybe I was saved by the terrible monster of doom that is WordPress this morning. Maybe not. But at least I did learn one valuable fact.
Write using a program with auto-save 😉
In reality though, I’ve learned a lesson that we never really seem to remember no matter how many times we learn it: sometimes bad things really do happen for good reasons. WordPress has a million auto-save features but somehow each and every one of them failed. Had I not lost that entire post though, I wouldn’t have been able to split it up into the two posts that it really needed to be. That would have been a disservice to both of the topics I wrote about; they each deserve their own spotlight. By 1AM though, I felt rushed (and exhausted) so I wrote them together. Now I can go back, devote time to fleshing out the ideas separately, and I get two for the price of one. 🙂
So rather than focusing on how super duper mad I am at WordPress, I’ll be moving forward (and splitting up that huge post into two). How have you dealt with the hot mess of bad things happening?
Wishing you all the auto-save features you could want,